


One Missed Call

by sugarandspace



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Fluff, Gen, Good Parabatai Jace Wayland, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major Character Injury, Near Death Experiences, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2019-11-21 17:22:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18145184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarandspace/pseuds/sugarandspace
Summary: When a mission goes wrong Alec finds himself in a situation where he's not sure if he'll survive.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My very first chaptered fic! Please be kind.

It was not an ideal situation. 

Alec could feel the panic trying to take over his mind and he had to use all the training he’s got to keep his mind calm. He needed to think of a plan, and he needed to think quickly.

He was trapped, that was a fact and there was no denying it. He was alone, in a room with no windows and only one door - the door he was currently leaning against. And behind that door were ten Forsakens, possibly more if they had followed the sounds of a fight - the fight that had caused Alec to lose his stele and most of his weapons. 

It felt like a beginners’ error, to be so careless, but the fight Alec had found himself in had been tougher than any he had encountered so far. He was on a rescue mission with Jace, and they had found the mundane trapped on the higher floor of the abandoned building. Alec had sent the reluctant Jace away with the mundane, saying that he could handle the rest of the Forsakens.

That was when there were only five of them and Alec still had his bow and blade. 

After Jace had disappeared with the mundane and Alec had gotten rid of three of the five Forsakens, the door behind him had burst open and a herd of new ones had flooded the hallway, cutting Alec’s way to the exit. He was forced to kill the remaining two in front of him and go back the way he had originally came from. But while having his back to the new Forsakens, one of them had grabbed the bow from his back, throwing it away. 

Unable to spare more than a quick prayer that his bow would be okay, Alec had retreated from his quickly approaching enemy. 

Had the hallway been narrow, Alec could have approached the fight in a more organized manner, killing the ones closer to him and waiting for the next two to step forward. But the luck wasn’t on his side, and when he had put his focus on the one on the left, the one on the far right had tried to approach him from the side. 

Alec had plunged his seraph blade through a Forsaken after Forsaken, cutting arteries and severing heads, but they had just kept coming and coming. Luke had said that the building was known to be inhabited by homeless people, and it looked like the person turning them into Forsakens hadn’t spared anyone on their mission.

The exhaustion had started to get to Alec, it had been a long day and he was quickly running out of energy. In a brief breathing pause he had got, he’d reached for his stele to activate a few runes that would help him, but in his rush the stele had slipped from his sweaty fingers. 

Alec had tried to make a move for it, but the Forsakens were just too close. Alec had sunk his blade into one’s chest, the adamas piercing the creature and the one behind it. Alec had tried to pull the blade out but it hadn’t moved, stuck in the heavy bodies that were falling to the ground, taking the blade with them.

Shit.

All Alec had had then were the arrows on his back, a ten or so of them. He could use them as weapons, deadly even without the bow, but not with this many. He had seen a door to his right and had tried the handle, feeling a surge of hope as the door had opened.

Alec had slipped in, closing the door quickly behind himself and leaning against it.

He had taken deep breaths, trying to calm his aching lungs and his wildly beating heart. A quick look around the room had made it clear that it was some kind of a storage, small and lined with shelves that were now empty. There were nothing that could be used as a weapon.

There were also no windows, which meant no way to escape. 

He had come to the realisation that he was trapped.

Jace would get suspicious sooner or later, Alec knew. He would feel the adrenaline through their bond and he would know that more trouble had arrived after he left. Jace would come back.

The problem was that Alec didn’t have time to wait.

The door he was leaning against was made of wood and past its best days, creaking as the Forsakens tried to barrel through it. It wouldn’t take long before it would give up under all the weight. 

Alec dug his pocket for a phone. Who could he call?

Magnus was the logical answer. He could create a portal and be in the building in a blink of an eye. He could blast the Forsakens away or simply portal the two of them out of there, allowing them to come back later to finish the rest of the creatures. It spoke of the situation that Alec wouldn’t even mind being saved like some helpless rookie.

But Magnus was in an important Warlock meeting, and he had told Alec that he would be unreachable, his phone shut off during the meeting. He couldn’t help Alec.

All the other numbers Alec had in his phone were that of Shadowhunters, none of which would make it to the building before the door gave up.

Alec came to the conclusion.

He had to try fighting his way out of the room. It wasn’t an impossible task, but he had no way of knowing how many Forsakens there were waiting for him behind that door. Definitely more than he had arrows. It was going to be a terribly unfair fight, but it wasn’t like Alec had a choice. 

But before he moved away from the door, there was something he needed to do first. He unlocked his phone, going to his contacts and pressing call.

_ “You've reached the voicemail of Magnus Bane. Please don't leave a message at the tone. I'm centuries old and even I think it's outdated.” _

Alec tried to push away the thought that this might very well be the last time he would hear that voice. He cleared his throat against the emotion gathering there and took a deep breath. He didn’t have time to waste. 

“Hey Magnus,” Alec started quietly. He could feel the hits delivered to the door, each thump making his body jolt slightly. He could hear loud growling just inches from his head on the other side of the wood, but he tried to tune it out while he concentrated on what to say.

What should he say?

If these really ended up being the last words he ever said to Magnus, what words would be worthy enough? What words could he use to convey all the gratitude he felt towards the man?

“I know you said that you can’t answer your phone during the meeting, but I had to speak to you,” he said. “Even if you can’t talk to me back.”

“I’ve got myself into a situation. And it’s - it’s bad Magnus. To be completely honest I’m not sure if I’m going to make it out of here alive.”

Alec stopped to take another deep breath. He did not have time to break down now. 

“I know Jace is going to blame himself if I end up dying,” Alec knew his brother and he had to make sure that if it all went to hell, his parabatai knew that Alec didn’t blame him. “It was my call to send him back. We had to get the mundane to safety. We didn’t know it would come to this. Can you remind him of that for me? He needs to understand that.”

“I want you to know that I’m going to try my best. I’m going to do all I can to make it back to you. I’m not ready to die-”

Alec’s voice broke at the admission, and he lifted his hand to wipe at his eyes that were threatening tears before quickly bracing it back against the door for balance. It would be an ugly ending to the call if he were to stumble and the door would open. He still had things to say.

He let out a sniffle and continued. 

“But if this truly is the end,” he said, a resolute tone taking over his voice. A scary amount of acceptance in his words as he continued. “I just wanted to say thank you.”

“Thank you Magnus. I can say with certainty that I wouldn’t be the man I am today if it weren’t for you. You helped me come to terms with myself in a way I never thought possible. You gave me a relationship I never even dared to dream about, a life I never thought I could have. I’m so grateful for the years I got with you, they’ve been the best years of my life. I’m sorry I’m leaving you behind so early.”

Alec catched himself at the words. It was not over yet. 

“That is, if I don’t make it out here alive.”

“I could spend the whole day on the phone listing things I’m grateful for or things I love about you,” Alec said. “But unfortunately I don’t have the time for that. I hope with all my heart that I’ll see you later.”

Alec trailed off at that, not knowing how to end the call. He refused to say the word goodbye but he couldn’t utter the words “I’ll see you later” either. Honestly, he didn’t even want to hang up. 

It was just a voicemail message, Magnus couldn’t reply and he wasn’t even listening the words at that moment, but it still felt like Alec was talking with him. He would hear the message after his meeting, and Alec had no idea where he would be then. There was so much he needed to tell Magnus, but he knew that all those things were things that Magnus already knew. He was stalling and he knew that, he really needed to get himself together 

“I- ah, I have to go,” Alec said eventually. “I just needed you to know that I love you.”

With that Alec ended the call, squeezing his eyes tightly shut as he let the hand holding his phone fall to his side. He resisted the urge to call again, just to hear Magnus’ voice one more time. He knew it would turn into an endless loop, a loop he didn’t have time for. 

He would need to hang on to the thought that he’d hear Magnus’ voice - in real life and talking to him - if he managed to fight his way out of here. He could feel Magnus’ arms around him and see that private smile Magnus seemed to only give him. 

He took a deep breath, burying his emotions as well as he could. It was harder than it used to be, but he had to get back to that mindset he’d had before Clary. Before Magnus.

Emotions are distractions.

He was going to fight. He was going to fight until he had no arrows left, and until his kicks and hits weren’t enough. He was going to try, goddammit, because the only way he was going to get out of there alive, to see anyone he loved again, was if he fought.

And if it were to end in his death, Alec wasn’t going to go down easily.

He reached behind himself, pulling two arrows from his quiver and looking at them. He could do this.

He took a deep breath and jumped away from the door, facing it and standing ready as it burst open and the Forsakens started to come in. There were more of them than he had arrows, so Alec had to be smart with this. He stabbed the one closest to him through its eye, slicing the next one’s throat efficiently.

Blood was getting on his face but he didn’t have time to be bothered about that. The Forsakens were coming at him in a way that made it seem like they had a personal vendetta with Alec. 

He lost one of his arrows when he didn’t have time to pull it out of one’s chest before another one was coming at him. He crouched down and the creature lost its balance, tumbling to the ground where Alec stabbed it through its throat. 

The fight was a blur full of adrenaline and red - both from the blood and the quickly moving arrows. Alec wasn’t invincible either, he had countless bruises from where he’d been grabbed or pushed to the wall, claw marks on his arms and even a couple long ones going down the side of his face. He could feel blood trickling down his face and neck, but his focus was on the creatures still coming at him.

He was aching all over, but he had made it into the hallway, leaving a path of bodies as he moved closer to the exit. Just a little more, then he’d be safe.

He only had one arrow left, and there were six Forsakens coming at him. Their pace was slow, calculative, and Alec stood ready on his unsteady legs. This was not impossible. Highly unlikely, Alec had to admit, but not impossible.

His legs were shaking from all the exertion, his arms sore and his whole body pulsing with a mix of pain and adrenaline. He hadn’t had time to breathe, and it was really getting to him. He could feel the desperation kicking in. He needed to get to that door.

Alec let out a growl as he charged towards the one closest to him, arrow ready. But the Forsaken grabbed his arm, squeezing tight and making it impossible for Alec to bring the arrow down. He lifted his leg to sink his knee into its stomach, making it loosen its grip and fall backwards, making the ones coming after it stumble in their steps. Alec fell to his knees as well, his body heaving as he tried to breathe.

In a flash his attention snapped into the door at the end of the hallway as it burst open, showing him two people he never thought he’d see again.

Jace charged quickly towards the Forsaken closest to him, his expression absolutely murderous as he sunk his blade into its chest. Magnus’ expression was colder, pure focus, as he blasted a ball of magic towards another.

Alec was still gripping his arrow tightly, even though he didn’t need to use it. The remaining Forsakens has turned their attention to Magnus and Jace, seemingly more interested in them and their loud entry.

It didn’t take long before they were all dead, and Jace and Magnus’ murderous glares turned to expressions of worry as they focused their attention on Alec, still kneeling on the dirty and cold floor, an arrow tightly in his hand.  

Still ready to fight.

Alec was aware that he was swaying in his place, his focus slipping and his eyesight getting blurrier. Magnus and Jace rushed to kneel next to him, and he felt Magnus’ hand on his shoulder, steadying him. He felt like he could have sobbed from relief.

He didn’t have the chance though, because without his consent, he dropped the arrow and the unconsciousness pulled him under.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to everyone who subscribed or left kudos or commented or bookmarked the first chapter!! Here's the second chapter! From now on I'll update on Thursdays! :)

“Alec!” Jace shouted as his parabatai fell against Magnus’ chest. Magnus brought his arms quickly around his boyfriend, supporting all of his weight and stopping him from falling to the ground.

The only thing keeping Magnus somewhat sane were the small puffs of breath he could feel against his neck where Alec’s head was resting.

It seemed like they had made it there just in time, and he felt a small amount of relief at the knowledge. Alexander was obviously hurt, but he was alive, and he could be healed.

“It’s okay - it will be okay,” Magnus comforted Jace, hoping that the words would help his own racing heart to calm down as well. “He passed out. We need to get him back to the loft so I can heal him. But he will be okay.”

Jace let out a sigh of relief, running his hand through his unruly hair. Magnus watched as he got up, walking a bit further up the hallway to pick something up from the ground.

Alexander’s stele.

And a small distance from that, his blade, deep in the chest of two Forsakens. Jace braced his foot against the bodies as he pulled the blade out.

Magnus stood up, carefully lifting Alec up from the ground. He briefly wondered what Alec would say about being carried, but the quick smile that crossed Magnus’ face could hardly be called one.

It was the first time Magnus really paid attention to their surroundings. Since arriving his focus had mostly been on Alec and the Forsakens. But now, standing there in the middle of the hallway where the fight had taken place, he was almost frozen in place at the sight.

The hallway floor was covered in bodies. Bodies with large wounds made by a blade, and bodies with red fletched arrows sticking out of them. It was like a storm had gone through the hallway. Magnus had no doubts when it came to Alec’s fighting skills, but it was still hard to believe Alec had managed to kill all of these.

“Holy shit,” Jace said, the tone of his voice impressed if not a bit horrified. Apparently he had been taking in the scene as well.

Magnus felt the same way. To know that Alec had had so many of these creatures against him - Magnus could only imagine how he must have felt. This had been a horribly unbalanced fight, even for a Shadowhunter with a skillset like his Alexander’s.

“His bow,” Magnus said, nodding his head towards the bow on the floor. Jace noticed it as well and went to pick it up, soon holding the three things that were important for a Shadowhunter in a fight. His Alexander had lost his trusty bow, his stele and therefore all the help his runes could provide, as well as his blade. He’d been forced to defend himself with his fight skills and his arrows, arrows that by the sight of it seemed to be scattered around the hallway as well.

Unable to bear the sight anymore, Magnus used the little movement his hand had to create a portal, stepping through it with Alec, Jace following close behind.

* * *

As they arrived to the loft, Magnus laid Alec’s unconscious body down on their bed. He started to work immediately, scanning Alec’s body with magic to get a better sense of his injuries.

“I can feel some pain through our bond,” Jace said from beside him, setting Alec’s stele on the nightstand and leaving his weapons on the floor at the end of the bed. “But the feeling that I can feel overpoweringly is exhaustion. That must mean that he’ll be okay, right?”

“His body is tired, yes.” Magnus confirmed. “He spent all his energy and then some trying to defeat those bastards. Combine that with the drop in adrenaline levels and his body just couldn’t keep up.”

Jace let out a relieved sigh at Magnus’ words.

“What can I do?” Jace asked as Magnus rolled his sleeves up, getting ready.

“Call Isabelle, she would want to know what happened,” Magnus suggested, knowing that he didn’t really need help when it came to healing Alec, but the parabatai was obviously shaken and Magnus knew that giving him a task would help him calm down. He knew that from experience since the same worked on Alec as well. It seemed to be a Shadowhunter thing. It would give Jace something to do and make him feel like he was helping, rather than helplessly watching from the sidelines.

“Yeah, I can do that,” Jace agreed and dug his pocket for his phone.

Magnus paid very little attention to what Jace was talking about on the phone, putting all his focus into healing Alexander. Some of his cuts were shallow, some slicing deeper and bleeding more. There were bruises that were just beginning to bloom, big, painful things reaching deep into the tissues. The healing was a slow process but also a rewarding one, as with each disappearing bruise and a cut that knit itself back together, Magnus could feel the invisible band around his heart loosening a little.

None of Alec’s injuries were too severe, their quantity more concerning than their quality. But nevertheless, Magnus felt like he could finally breathe when he had healed all that there was to heal.

To help erase the memories of Alec so battered, Magnus snapped his fingers to magic away all the blood and and sweat and dirt, changing Alec’s clothes to clean and comfortable ones. To something that would be a little nicer to sleep in while he gathered his strength to come back to them. Magnus wouldn’t want him to feel uncomfortable.

Magnus’ day had already been busier than usual, his morning filled with clients and the afternoon spent at the meeting. He’d used a lot of magic, and that left Magnus feeling exhausted, his powers weak as he waved his hand one more time to conjure a chair from the living room. The chair appeared behind him and he slumped down to it, with less grace that he would have liked.

It would probably have been polite to conjure one for Jace too, but Magnus wasn’t sure if he had magic left to do that. He hoped Jace would understand, and he felt like he might, when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey,” Jace said carefully. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” Magnus replied, his eyes never leaving Alec on the bed. Magic depletion was a small price to pay to be able to see Alec safe in their bed, his skin clean of injuries. “I’ll be fine.”

“Izzy said she’ll come here as quick as she can,” Jace said, taking the soft blanket from the bottom of the bed and covering Alec’s body with it before he sat down on the edge of the bed opposite Magnus. “She’s worried sick.”

“We all are,” Magnus stated the obvious. “That was a really close call. If we’d been there a minute later-”

“I know,” Jace said, the tone of his voice sincere as he hung his head down. “I know. I could feel how scared he was, how defeated. That was the worst Magnus - feeling the hopelessness radiating through our bond. I should never have left him there alone.”

“You didn’t know this was going to happen,” Magnus comforted the man who was obviously beating himself up for this. Magnus was choosing to focus on that rather than how Jace told Alec had felt like. He wasn’t in a state to delve deeper into that. “You wouldn’t have left him there if you knew. It was his call, his order to save the mundane. You are not to blame Jace.”

Jace looked at him through the hair hanging on his face and lifted one side of his mouth up in a half smile. Magnus wasn’t sure if his words had quite hit their mark.

There would be a time for longer conversations later, right now all of Magnus’ attention was on the man lying eerily still on their bed.

* * *

Isabelle arrived not too long after that, her eyes wild and chest heaving. Seeing her so distraught almost made Magnus falter in his composure he had tried to maintain while looking at his sleeping boyfriend and playing back all that had happened in the past hour.

Magnus excused himself, giving the siblings some time with Alec. He wanted to be there when he woke up, but he also knew that it wasn’t going to happen soon. It would take hours for Alec to sleep away all the exhaustion.

He made his way to the kitchen, knowing that he would need something to eat if he was going to restore his own energy levels. He didn’t particularly feel like eating, but it would do no good if he passed out as well.

He went through the fridge, finding some leftovers from their dinner last night. They had been cooking together, a hobby they had discovered early on in their relationship when it became apparent that they were both disasters in the kitchen.

They had agreed to learn together, Alec forbiting Magnus from using magic. They were going to learn how to cook dinner, and they were going to learn it together. They had come a long way from where they started, Alec learning to follow his gut as well as the recipe, and Magnus learning that there were times when it was best to follow instructions. It was just another example of how they balanced each other out.

Magnus put some of the food on a plate, putting the plate into the microwave and leaning against the counter. He was tired - it had been a long day. The sun was starting to set, painting the kitchen yellow with its last rays.

It was hard to comprehend that they had been in this kitchen not longer than little over 12 hours ago, making quick breakfast before they needed to head out to their respective duties. It was supposed to be just like any other day, they were supposed to meet back at the loft for dinner and they were supposed to exchange stories about how their days had gone. It was not supposed to end with Magnus fearing for Alec’s life.

The microwave beeped, signaling that his food was ready. Magnus took the hot plate from the microwave and carried it to the dinner table. He poured himself a glass of wine to accompany the food, telling himself that he deserved it. In reality it was serving a different purpose, as he hoped it would help calm down his racing thoughts.

Magnus took his jacket off, hanging it to the back of the chair. He took his phone out of the pocket and set it down on the table as he sat down.

His phone was still shut off, Magnus realised. As he had been leaving the warlock meeting he’d gotten a fire message from Jace, a message that took his attention completely away from little things like turning his phone back on.

_“Alec is in trouble. Meet me here as quick as you can_

_\- Jace”_

Underneath the message there had been an address, and Magnus had immediately portalled there. He had found himself in front of a building that looked like it was barely standing. He hadn’t know how bad the situation was back then, but as he’d seen Jace run towards him, the dread he had felt had intensified.

He had looked panicked, a rare look on the face of a Shadowhunter - especially on the face of Alexander’s sometimes arrogant brother - which led Magnus to believe that whatever was going on, was serious. And it was about Alec.

Jace had explained the situation to him as they both ran to the entrance of the building, desperate to help Alexander.  

Magnus shook himself back to present. He didn’t want to think about that now. He looked away from his phone, deciding to keep it shut off. He didn’t want to be bothered now. Whoever was going to call had to deal with their problem on their own because Magnus had no time to help others right now - not that he would be of much help anyways due to his depleted powers.

He digged his fork into the pasta, reluctantly starting to eat. He was not in a mood to eat and his appetite was nowhere to be found when all his stomach was filled with was the lingering dread left behind by what almost happened.

He didn’t even bother to walk back to the microwave when he realised that his food was still cold in the middle.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? I'd love to hear them!


	3. Chapter 3

Magnus didn’t even know what time it was. It was dark outside, had been for a long time now, but the first rays of sunshine hadn’t yet made their way over the horizon. The exhaustion was starting to get to him but he couldn’t sleep. All he’d managed were short naps in the chair, less for the will to rest and more because of his body’s inability to stay awake.

It was so quiet in the room, the only sounds coming from outside - faint sounds of traffic and wind. Jace and Izzy had been in the room earlier, but even then it had been quiet. No one knew what to say about the situation, but at the same time the situation was the only thing on their minds. No discussions about the weather or how their weeks had gone felt fitting when Alec was lying on the bed, recovering from the fight that could have led to his end.

There had been no sign of waking up, not that Magnus was really expecting any yet. But he couldn’t help but wish. Wish for even the smallest movement from his boyfriend that would give them all a spark of relief.

Alec looked so peaceful, and a part of Magnus was happy about that. Alec was safe, in their bed, and healing nicely. Most of his injuries had been easy to heal but the exhaustion was something his body had to fight on its own.

But he looked too peaceful, the fact unnerving Magnus. Alec never slept this peacefully, he moved during the night, and he let out those little snores Magnus liked to tease him about.

But not now. Now Alec was just lying there, completely still, and it looked so wrong.

Magnus didn't know if Alec could even register anything around him or if he was completely knocked out - the option Magnus was leaning towards more - but he found it comforting for himself when he could card his fingers through Alec’s hair, use it to ground himself in the moment, not letting his thoughts wander too far on what happened and to the countless what ifs that his brain was unhelpfully providing.

The room was lit by the lamp on the bedside table, it’s faint light casting shadows across Alec’s face. The bags under his eyes seemed more prominent, although Magnus could hardly judge them since he was fairly sure that his own eyes had shadows of their own.

Jace was asleep in the guest room, his exhaustion on a whole another level. It wasn’t a surprise really. Besides fighting off his own tiredness that was a result of the mission they had went to earlier, he was getting the echo of Alec’s through their bond. It had taken a great deal of convincing from Magnus and Izzy to get him to leave Alec’s side and get some sleep, but eventually he had agreed. With a condition that they would wake him up as soon as there were any news about Alec.

Magnus had sworn that, understanding how deep the worry had rooted itself in Jace as well, knowing that he’d want the same courtesy if he were in Jace’s shoes.

That had left Magnus and Izzy on Alec’s bedside, sitting in silence, both waiting for Alec to wake up.

After a couple hours though, Izzy’s phone had gone off. It had been a call from the Institute, calling all hands on deck. Isabelle had been unwilling to leave his brother at first, but as she’d heard that it was about the Shadowhunter who had been drawing runes on mundanes and turning them into Forsakens, she had been up from the chair in a heartbeat, her eyes burning with revenge in a way Magnus had never seen before. Isabelle looked like she was ready to take down Lilith herself, and Magnus would have felt bad for the person she was going to hunt down if he wasn’t filled with violent dreams of what he’d like to do to the person himself.

He tried not to think about that though. Alec didn’t need him angry, didn’t need to wake up to Magnus’ eyes burning with hatred and to the air feeling static. And Magnus felt weak, couldn’t waste the little amount of magic he had been able to gather back after his meal and the - albeit not the most comfortable - rest he’d gotten on the chair. There might be injuries his magic hadn’t been able to detect, pain that had gone unnoticed. He needed to be able to help Alec if he woke up and something was wrong.

So he had promised Isabelle to let her know if there was any change in Alec’s state. She had promised to be back as soon as she could, and Magnus had nodded, watching her leave the room. Her exit had been silent, careful not to wake up Jace.

Magnus had no doubt that the blond Shadowhunter's reaction would have been similar to Isabelle’s, no matter how drained of energy he might have been. There would have been no powers outside of magic to keep the man in bed rest if he heard that there was a chance to capture the person who had caused his parabatai to be in the state that they had found him in.

As Magnus had heard the front door click shut, and there had been no sounds coming from the guest room, he’d let out a sigh and turned his attention back to Alexander.

He didn’t know what he would have done if he had lost Alec today. They had come so close, it was a matter of minutes, if not seconds that they had been in time. Alec had looked so beaten - both physically and emotionally - as they had opened the door. Seeing him so defeated, on his knees on the floor, had ignited a protective surge in Magnus he hadn’t felt in so long. The fight had been easy for them, getting through the remaining  Forsakens had barely made him break sweat, but looking at his boyfriend so close to collapsing had made it obvious that the the case had been very different to him. The desperation with which he held the arrow in his hand, knuckles white with the force of it, had broken Magnus’ heart. He’d been unwilling- or perhaps unable - to relax, fearing that the fight wasn’t over. That he wasn’t safe, that there would be more Forsakens coming any minute now.

It had almost been a relief to see Alec losing consciousness, his relaxed body a stark contrast to the tension that had radiated from him only seconds ago.

It felt like all that had happened weeks ago. Each hour since their arrival to the loft had stretched on forever, and Magnus was sure he was going to go crazy if Alec didn’t wake up soon. Just a minute of him being awake would be enough for Magnus. Enough to convince that Alec was truly okay, that there wasn’t something big he had missed while healing him. He needed that reassurance so badly.

Healing wasn’t Magnus’ strongest suit. He was skilled at it, he was the High Warlock of Brooklyn after all, but it wasn’t what he was known for. Unlike his friend Catarina, who had spent centuries focusing on healing spells and potions, practising that kind of magic regularly.

Magnus wanted to hear her opinion on Alec’s situation, just to be sure. It might have been the exhaustion that was making Magnus second guess himself in that moment, but he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if something happened to Alec because he had been careless.

He took his phone from the bedside table where he had put it when he came back to Alexander’s side. It was still turned off - Magnus had had no energy or interest to turn it back on. If there truly was an emergency where he was needed, someone would send him a fire message. But even then it would have needed to be quite an emergency, because nothing short of an apocalypse was going to get him away from this room until he was one hundred percent sure that Alexander would be fine.

Magnus had a feeling he wouldn’t be moving far from Alec after that either.

He pressed the power button, watching as his phone came back to life. He typed the code in and watched as his lockscreen appeared on the screen, a picture of Alec on their couch with his nose buried in a book that for once, hadn’t been for research. That kind of relaxed moments had been few and far between at the beginning of their relationship, both too busy to go from catastrophe to catastrophe to have time to relax. But after years of being together, they’ve gotten more of these relaxed moments and have learnt more about each other.

As the phone came back to life,  a notification appeared on the screen.

_One missed call_

That in itself wasn’t a huge surprise, but what made Magnus’ blood turn cold in his veins was the name of the caller.

_Alexander_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's not what everyone was expecting/hoping but I found a good stopping point and had to leave you with a cliffhanger. Next week! I promise! :)
> 
> As always, I'm eager to hear what you think about this chapter and the story so far! Your comments make my day!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter you've been waiting for... I'm scared.

Alec had called him, and by the looks of it he had left Magnus a voicemail. Thousands of possibilities ran through Magnus’s mind and he was suddenly more awake than he had been in hours.

Magnus stared at the phone warily. A quick look at the notification showed that he had gotten the call around the same time he had left the meeting. Had Alec tried to call him for help? Had he hoped that Magnus’ meeting would already be over and he would pick up?

There was only one way to find out, so Magnus lifted the phone to his ear with a shaky hand, about to listen to the voicemail Alec had left. He straightened on his chair unconsciously, all his focus on the words he would hear.

At first, all he could hear was the amount of background noise, like someone hitting a wall and growling. The Forsakens, Magnus realised. It took a moment before Alec spoke, clearing his throat.  

_“Hey Magnus.”_

His voice was uncharastically faint, lacking the strength it usually held. Especially in a battle. Magnus’ heart was beating fast and just those two words were enough to give him a feeling that he was not going to like this message.

It took a while before Alec spoke again.

 _“I know you said that you can’t answer your phone during the meeting, but I had to speak to you,”_ he said. _“Even if you can’t talk to me back.”_

It lightened the weight pressing on Magnus’ shoulders to hear that Alec hadn’t expected Magnus to answer his phone, but at the same time he couldn’t ignore the nagging thought that he could have answered this call. If only he would have stopped to turn his phone back on after the meeting. But he’d been too occupied with other things, and then all his focus had been on the fire message he had gotten from Jace. He hadn’t stopped to think that he would need his phone. Why hadn’t he tried to call Alec?

_“I’ve got myself into a situation. And it’s - it’s bad Magnus. To be completely honest I’m not sure if I’m going to make it out of here alive.”_

Magnus sucked in a sharp breath as he heard the words. Those words would haunt him in his dreams, he was sure of it. He could hear the emotion in Alec’s words, how much it hurt him to admit that. Magnus couldn't even imagine how Alec had felt. All alone in the building, cornered and without an escape.

Magnus ran his shaking hand through his hair in distress, the other hand holding tightly on the phone.

_“I know Jace is going to blame himself if I end up dying. It was my call to send him back. We had to get the mundane to safety. We didn’t know it would come to this. Can you remind him of that for me? He needs to understand that.”_

That was so typically Alexander - to worry for others while he was facing an almost certain death - that Magnus let out a sound that was some kind of a hybrid of a sob and a laugh.

_“I want you to know that I’m going to try my best. I’m going to do all I can to make it back to you. I’m not ready to die-”_

Alec’s voice broke and Magnus was pretty sure his boyfriend might be crying, and the sound itself was enough for the tears to overflow from Magnus’ own eyes. The voicemail was like torture. Magnus hadn’t paid too much attention to how the fight must have gone, all his focus on Alexander’s injuries and how they were healing. He hadn’t really stopped to think how Alec would have been feeling during the fight. To know that - to hear Alexander himself talking about how he wasn’t sure if he would live to see Magnus again - it was horrible.

But Magnus wasn’t going to stop listening.

_“But if this truly is the end, I just wanted to say thank you.”_

It was obvious Alec had steeled himself, unwilling to break down on the phone. It gave Magnus a whole different kind of feeling, like cold dread running down his spine, to hear the factual tone in his words. He had to keep his eyes on Alexander’s face, on the skin that was now clear from cuts, to remind himself that Alec had made it through it. He was safe, he was with Magnus, and Magnus was going to make sure that something like this wasn’t going to happen again.

_“Thank you Magnus. I can say with certainty that I wouldn’t be the man I am today if it weren’t for you. You helped me come to terms with myself in a way I never thought possible. You gave me a relationship I never even dared to dream about, a life I never thought I could have. I’m so grateful for the years I got with you, they’ve been the best years of my life. I’m sorry I’m leaving you behind so early.”_

The tears kept falling as he listened his boyfriend’s sincere words come through the phone. Magnus lifted his hand to cover his mouth, worried that the sounds that were escaping him would disturb Alec, or wake up Jace.

Jace definitely didn’t need to wake up to the sounds of crying now that he was finally resting. Who knows where his mind might go.

A part of Magnus wanted to stop listening. He didn’t want to hear Alec saying goodbye, no matter if the message had ended up being unneeded. But Alec had obviously left the message for Magnus in case he wasn’t going to make it through, and the words he were saying were obviously important to him. Magnus was going to listen through it, every last word, no matter how much they hurt to hear.

They had obviously hurt Alec as much to say.

_“That is, if I don’t make it out here alive.”_

_“I could spend the whole day on the phone listing things I’m grateful for or things I love about you. But unfortunately I don’t have the time for that. I hope with all my heart that I’ll see you later.”_

It was quiet for a while after that, and Magnus wondered what was going through Alec’s mind. Was this the end of the voicemail?

During all this Magnus kept his eyes on Alec on the bed, a reminder that he was safe and in their home. He could see Alec stirring, his eyes squeezing tightly shut before they opened slowly. Magnus wanted to leap out of his chair and get closer, bombard Alec with questions about where it hurt and how he could help. He wanted to tell him that he loved him time and time again until Alec got tired of hearing that.

But he didn’t do any of that, his body frozen as he listened to the voicemail. He was afraid of what he would hear but he couldn’t make his body to move and put the phone away.    

 _“I- ah, I have to go,”_ Alec said on the phone while the Alec on the bed seemed to get his bearings back, his eyes locked to Magnus’ in alarm as he noticed that he was crying, but then his expression turned solemn as he seemed to realise what Magnus was listening _._ He looked apologetic, and it was not a look Magnus wanted to see on Alec’s face right now. _“I just needed you to know that I love you.”_

“Alexander,” Magnus breathed out as he heard the noise signalling that the voicemail had ended. Magnus’ voice broke on the one word, and he let his phone slip from his fingers, let it tumble to the chair next to his thigh as he slowly lowered his hand.

He was at a loss for words.

How should a person react when they hear their boyfriend saying goodbye? When the person Magnus loved with his whole soul had thanked him for loving him?

Magnus didn’t know, and it was obvious Alec didn’t either.

They stared at each other, tears still silently falling from Magnus’ eyes. Alec still had that heartbroken expression on his face and as he reached his hand towards Magnus, it broke Magnus from his shock and he leaned forward, taking hold of Alec’s hand and pressing a soft kiss to his palm before placing it on his own cheek and holding it there.

Alec’s thumb brushed at the tears under Magnus’ eye.

“I’m okay,” he said quietly, his voice hoarse from disuse and emotion.

And how did he know that it was exactly what Magnus needed to hear? He took a deep breath, gathering himself because Alec was right. That voicemail could have been the last thing he heard from his boyfriend but instead he got this. He got the words telling him that he was fine, he got Alec back to their home and got to hold his hand.

Magnus leaned down to press his lips against Alec’s, just a soft press of lips against lips.

He got to kiss him again.

Alec had made it out of that building like he had talked about, like he had promised to try. Magnus should have known that if Alec were to promise something there would be no holding him back. Magnus pulled back and took another deep breath before he spoke.

“You’re okay,” he repeated the words, letting them sink into his mind and in his heart, lessening the pressure he felt behind his eyes. “I love you so much.”

Alec kept his eyes tightly shut, inhaling deeply.

“I wasn’t sure if I would ever hear that again.”

Alec’s words were quiet, and Magnus wasn’t sure if he was even meant to hear them. But he did, and the hurt they caused felt more agonizing than Magnus could have ever imagined. It also made him want to say the words again. And again. And again.

“I love you Alexander.”

Alec opened his eyes and looked at Magnus, his eyes still threatening tears but there was also a small smile on his face as he replied. “I love you too.”

Magnus couldn’t help himself, he leaned back in and kissed Alec again.

“We were all so worried,” Magnus told Alec as they separated. He let go of Alec’s hand as he tried to position himself on a more upright position on the bed. Magnus rushed to help by rearranging the mountain of pillows at the headboard, helping Alec settle comfortably against them.

“I’m sorry,” Alec said, reaching at Magnus’ hand that was resting on the bed next to his thigh.

“Don’t be an idiot,” Magnus said. “You almost died, you don’t get to apologise.”

Alec’s response was a tired smile, accompanied with a shrug of his shoulders. It was obvious that he hadn’t fully restored all his energy yet, but Magnus was glad to see him awake. He would gladly let Alec go back to sleep now that he’d got to see him awake - had got to see him healthy and talking. It eased Magnus’ mind more than words could describe.

“It’s me who should apologize,” Magnus said, his tone low with regret.

“What are you talking about?” Alec asked, his brows furrowed in confusion.

“I didn’t answer your call,” Magnus explained.

“Magnus, I didn’t expect you to-”

“I know,” Magnus said, interrupting what was probably going to be a long speech about how this wasn’t Magnus’ fault, but Magnus needed to get this out. “I wasn’t even in a meeting anymore when you tried to call me. I just hadn’t had the time to turn my phone back on. I could have answered that call. Maybe I would have been there faster. Maybe-”

“And maybe not,” Alec said, interrupting Magnus this time. “You can’t dwell on what ifs. I knew you couldn’t answer your phone. That is not why I called you. I just- I  didn’t want to go without saying goodbye.”

Alec turned his attention from Magnus’ face to the hand that was on his lap, his fingers playing with Magnus’ rings. Magnus lifted his other hand to cover Alec’s fidgeting fingers, calming them.

“I know,” Magnus said, watching as Alec lifted his head and looked him into his eyes again. Magnus couldn’t help but notice that his eyes were still looking quite watery. “I’m so proud of you Alexander. You made it. You fought your way out of there. We saw the hallway, all those bodies. It was far from a fair fight but you made it out alive.”

“Thanks to you and Jace,” Alec said, trying to deflect.

“No,” Magnus said, his voice soft but stern. “We helped you, but it’s because of you that you’re alive now. You didn’t give up, you fought even when the situation looked impossible.”

“I have plenty of reasons to fight,” Alec replied, wiping his eyes. The words made Magnus smile impossibly wide.

“And I’m so happy to hear that.”

“Wait,” Alec said suddenly, his eyes widening in alarm. “My bow? And stele? I lost them in the fight.”

“All here in the loft, my dear.” Magnus replied, placing a calming hand on Alec’s shoulder. “You need to rest. You were exhausted when we got you here. I was able to heal your injuries but I couldn’t take away the strain the fight had caused you.”

“Thank you,” Alec said. “I’m sure you did more than was needed.”

“As if that is an issue,” Magnus argued. “I would have done all that I could to take away all the pain and discomfort you might have felt, even if it meant using all my magic.”

“And we’ve talked about that,” Alec argued, fondly rolling his eyes at his boyfriend. “I don’t want you to exhaust yourself. I’m sure you went overboard this time too. I’m fine with letting some of the injuries heal on their own. Or even with irazes. It would do me no good to wake up feeling better than ever and see you passed out next to my bed.”

“And it would hurt me to see you in pain when I could easily take that pain away,” Magnus retorted.

“I’m never going to win you in this, am I?” Alec asked, admitting defeat.

“I’m sorry but you’re not,” Magnus replied. It felt good to be like this, like the last day hadn’t happened and they were just playfully arguing about the same topic that raised to the surface more often than not in their household. “We just have to agree to disagree. And you have to stop getting yourself into these situations.”

“I will promise you that I’ll try my best,” Alec said, and Magnus knew that was the best he was going to get.

“Good.”

A silence fell over them after that, both just content to be in each other’s company, holding the other’s hand while they processed the situation. Magnus tried his best not to think about how the reason Alec kept holding his hand more tightly than usually was probably because he had thought that he’d never get to feel that again.

Magnus just kept holding on tighter, letting the pressure ground him to the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it lived up to your expectations?
> 
> I'll be out of town next week, and I'm not sure if I'll be able to take my laptop with me. If I can't, I won't be able to update this on Thursday. In that case I'll update on Friday!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this fic was supposed to have 6 chapters but I got inspired and wanted to add something (next week's chapter) so I changed the number of chapters to 7 :)

“As much as I’d love to keep you all to myself, there’s someone here who’s dying to see you,” Magnus said after a while, breaking out of their bubble and remembering his promise to Jace.

Alec looked at Magnus, waiting for him to elaborate.

“Jace is in the guest room,” Magnus explained. “He’s been nearly as tired as you, and me and Isabelle managed to eventually convince him to sleep when we promised to let him know when you wake up.”

“How - what has he been like?” Alec asked hesitantly, probably referring to the same thing he had mentioned in that god awful voicemail. His brother’s ability to harbour guilt like no other.

“Not great,” Magnus answered truthfully. “You know how it goes, he’s your parabatai. He could feel your distress while you were in that building and he could feel the toll the fight took on you. And he’s Jace, he’s blaming himself for leaving you behind.”

Alec took in a deep breath, the answer upsetting him even though it was the one that he was probably expecting.

“Isabelle was here too,” Magnus told Alec. “She came as soon as she heard about what happened. She had to leave a couple hours ago though. They called from the Institute and told her that there was some kind of a lead on the person who’s been turning mundanes.”

“Did they find the person?” Alec asked immediately, his mind falling to the Head of the Institute mode as soon as he’d gathered some of his energy back.

“I don’t know,” Magnus said honestly. “I haven’t heard anything from her. I’ll shoot her a message and let her know that you’re awake, I’m sure she’ll come back in a heartbeat and tell us.”

Alec nodded, his mind probably going over all the different ways to deal with the situation.

“Jace!” Magnus shouted, not wanting to leave Alec’s side but remembering his promise to Alec’s brother.

It didn’t take long before they could hear running steps from the hallway. Jace appeared to the doorway in a flash, his eyes wild and immediately landing on Alec. Magnus realised belatedly that maybe shouting hadn’t been the best option to get the blonde’s attention.

“Oh by the Angel,” Jace said, rushing to Alec’s side. Magnus gave him room, moving closer to the foot of the bed. He’d had his moment with Alec, it was Jace’s turn now. Magnus knew how much it meant to the other Shadowhunter to see his brother conscious. “You’re awake.”

“I’m awake,” Alec confirmed, and held Jace’s hand tightly where Jace had searched his. “Thanks to you two.”

Alec looked at both men on his bedside, a meaningful look in his eyes. He ignored the look Magnus gave him, turning his attention back to Jace. 

“It looked like you were holding your own just fine before we arrived,” Jace tried to lighten the mood, but the smile Alec gave as a response was a faint one, the corners of his mouth barely lifting up.

Magnus didn’t have the energy to smile either, knowing how close it had been that Alec wouldn’t have made it out of there alive. Magnus seriously doubted that he would have been able to take down the six Forsakens that had still been in the hallway when they had arrived.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” Jace said, slumping to the chair Magnus had been sitting on mere moments ago, bowing his head so that it rested on the bed next to Alec’s side. “I’m sorry I left you there.”

“Jace,” Alec started, combing his fingers through Jace’s hair in an attempt of comfort. “I told you to go. We needed to get the mundane to safety. You did take him to safety, right?” 

Jace nodded, a small movement against the bed. “I did.”

“Good,” Alec said. “You had no way of knowing that there would be more Forsakens on the way. I didn’t know that either. It was bad luck, nothing else. No one’s fault but the bastard’s who’s been turning mundanes.”

“I’m going to kill them,” Jace muttered, lifting his head to look Alec with the most serious expression Magnus had ever seen on the Shadowhunter's face. 

“I’m afraid you’re too late,” Magnus said, motioning to his phone where he had been texting Izzy, telling her that her brother was awake. “Izzy just said that she’s on her way here. They found the person behind this and she got killed while they were trying to capture her.”

“Good,” Jace said forcefully. Magnus couldn’t help but agree.

Time passed with comfortable conversation filling the room, Alec looking tired but still alert enough not to fall back asleep just yet. He was going to need the rest, but he also needed to see Isabelle.

After a while they could all hear the door to the loft opening and closing, the sound of heels against the floor getting closer as Izzy walked to the bedroom. She wasted no time before she basically threw herself towards Alec, hugging him tightly.

“You scared me,” she said seriously, her head on Alec’s shoulder and Alec’s hand combing thought her thick black hair. 

“I know,” Alec said, not letting go of of her. It looked like she had no intention to move away from him. “But I heard that you took care of the person behind this.”

“We did,” Izzy said. “I was going to take her back to the Institute to be questioned but it was obvious she wasn’t going to surrender. We had to kill her when she started coming towards us with an intention to kill. I’ll write a report about it later.”

“I’m just happy to know that the situation is over,” Alec admitted, letting go of Izzy as she finally pulled away. “I can read the rest from the report.”

“That will have to wait a couple days,” Magnus said from where he was sitting at the foot of the bed. “You’re not going back before you’re in full strength again.”

Alec was about to argue but he realised that it was best to keep his mouth shut when his siblings joined in.

“We’ll keep the Institute running while you rest,” Izzy said immediately.

“I’ll tell Underhill not to let you enter the building before you’ve rested at least two days,” Jace threatened.

Alec was sure he would have been able to go back to the Institute after he slept a few more hours, but seeing the worried looks on the faces of the people who cared about him, it made him realise that maybe the Institute would have to deal without him for a couple days. 

He knew he had made his siblings and Magnus worry, and for a brief moment Alec had felt like maybe he wasn’t going to see them again. Maybe taking the next two days slowly, enjoying the company of his loved ones and not rushing back to the Institute was what he needed - what they all needed.

They continued their light conversation for a while until Alec started to feel like just keeping his eyes open required too much effort, not to mention keeping up with the conversation.

The others noticed, telling him to sleep.

His rest was calm, soft snores filling the room once again, and Magnus would be lying if he said that the sound didn’t bring him some comfort.  

Jace and Izzy started to leave, wanting to give Alec space now that they knew he was okay.

“I’ll show you out,” Magnus said and followed the siblings out of the bedroom. Once in the foyer, they stopped.

“Let us know if there’s any change in his condition,” Izzy asked, trusting Magnus to give a more truthful answer than their brother would. 

“I will,” Magnus promised. “You two keep the Institute from burning to the ground, only contact Alec if it is absolutely necessary. Well actually, contact me first. Your brother needs the rest - no matter if he’ll admit it himself.”

“We know,” Jace said, and Magnus trusted him. But there was still a part of him that wanted Jace and Izzy to know just how bad yesterday’s events had been for Alexander. He hesitated for a moment before he spoke.

“There’s something you need to know,” he started, and hesitance must have been visible from his face because the others looked immediately more alert. 

“What is it?” Isabelle asked. 

“When Alexander was in that building, he - he didn’t expect to be able to get out of there,” Magnus stopped for a moment when Izzy drew in a sharp breath, reaching for Jace’s hand. Magnus cleared his own throat before he continued. “He was terrified. And he left me a voicemail. One where he told me to tell you, Jace, that what happened wasn’t your fault, and where he basically said his goodbyes, in case he wasn’t going to be able to get out of there alive.”

Isabelle’s eyes were threatening tears and Jace wrapped his arm around her, the expression on his own face devastated. Magnus hated putting the siblings through the same torture he had gone through when he listened the voicemail, but he also knew that Jace and Izzy deserved to know this, that they needed to know everything.

“By the Angel,” Jace breathed out, closing his eyes. 

“I’m sorry, it’s not something I wanted to tell you but I felt like you needed to know,” Magnus explained. It wasn’t even something he wanted to think about.

“No,” Izzy said immediately. “Thank you for telling us.”

“You take good care of him,” Jace said, looking at Magnus seriously. “We’ll make sure he won’t be disturbed until he’s ready to come back to the Institute - really ready.”

“I promise,” Magnus said, his voice sincere. 

After that they said their goodbyes and the siblings left, leaving Magnus alone into the foyer. He stayed there a moment longer, calming down before he turned to walk back to the bedroom.

He stopped at the door frame, leaning against it as he looked at Alec. It was almost like any other day when Alec had arrived to the loft earlier than Magnus. At least it looked like that. The pressure on Magnus’ chest had lessened, but there were still some lingering panic trapped in his body. He was tired, but he wasn’t sure if he would be able to sleep. 

He went through his evening routine, getting rid of his makeup and the product in his hair. He hoped the routine would calm him, but as he changed to his sleep clothes he still felt equally anxious. 

He crawled into the bed, turning the lights on and settling against Alec’s side. He was being careful, resting his head on the pillow and only his hand on Alec’s chest. He closed his eyes and focused on the steady rise and fall of Alec’s chest, and it didn’t take long before he was falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for reading!! Also, I have a feeling you'll like next week's chapter 😉


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy!

_There were only two Forsakens between him and the door, and he swung his arrow towards them as they attacked him. As one of them fell to the ground, it was suddenly replaced with two new Forsakes, the same thing happening over and over again as he cut them, stabbed them, kicked them._

_The distance between him and the door felt like it was growing even though he wasn’t moving, his legs almost like glued to the floor underneath him. He couldn’t go forward, couldn’t retreat back where he had come from. He was stuck and new Forsakens were coming one after another._

_He lost his arrow and had to fight them off with his bare hands, but there were so many of them, and they were clawing at his arms, biting them, and tugging him down. He was on the ground, seeing the door on the other end of the hallway._

_T_ _he door that remained closed._

Alec opened his eyes in a panic, his breathing labored but his body frozen in fear. It was dark in the room, thick curtains blocking the light from the window. The only light creeped into the room from the small gap of an open door. The gap provided just enough light that Alec was able to recognize where he were.

He wasn’t in the hallway. He wasn’t trapped.

He was at home.

The relief made his eyes sting and his breathing to catch but it also helped lessen the panic in his mind. He closed his eyes, breathing deeply and focusing on what he was feeling.

Silk sheets, soft pillow, warm blanket. The weight of Magnus’s arm over his chest and the steady puffs of air against his neck.

Good things, safe things, and all true - unlike his dream.

Alec knew that he wouldn’t be able to sleep again, partly because he feared that similar dreams would follow, and partly because he didn’t really feel as tired anymore.

Careful not to wake up Magnus, he moved the blanket and started to slip from the bed. He was being gentle when he opened the loose grip Magnus had on his t-shirt, placing the hand on the bed instead.

When he stood up he expected to feel sore. He remembered the amount of injuries he’d gotten the previous day, and knew that there would most likely be some lingering pain in his body.

But he felt fine. Only a little stiff from lying god knows how long in the bed. But there were no other signs that would have reminded him of the fight. Alec looked at his sleeping boyfriend with a fond smile. He really needed to figure out how he could make Magnus understand that he didn’t need to heal every little scratch every time Alec was injured.

Shaking his head, Alec left the room. He closed the door behind himself to make sure that any noises he would make wouldn’t wake up Magnus.

Other parts of the apartment were bathing in light. A quick look at the clock on the wall showed Alec that it was early afternoon already. He had spent almost a full day in bed.

It was no wonder he felt so hungry.

He headed to the kitchen and started preparing them food. Considering that he had just woken up and that he was going to wake up Magnus once he was done, he decided that breakfast food would be okay.

He took the pan out of the cupboard and started the batter for the crepes. 

 

* * *

 

The first thing Magnus realised when he woke up was that the bed was empty.

The space next to him was cold and void of his boyfriend, and it made panic spike up in Magnus’ heart and mind. Had he been dreaming? Had they not been able to save Alec? Had Alec left the loft? Was he in danger again?

Magnus was awake in seconds. He was usually slow to wake up in the mornings, content to linger in the bed long after he’d woken up. But now he was up and out of bed faster than he remembered being in a very long time.

“Alexander?” He called out as he opened the bedroom door, peering outside.

There were no reply, but Magnus could hear sounds from the kitchen. The sound of dishes being placed on the counter mixed with music from the radio. Magnus walked towards the sound and was greeted with the sight of Alec in the kitchen, his back to Magnus as he cooked something.

Magnus breathed deeply and walked forward, alerting Alec of his presence.

“Good morning.”

“Morning,” Alec replied, looking at Magnus over his shoulder and giving him a small smile before he turned back to his task. Magnus walked forward until he was right behind Alec, wrapping his arms around Alec’s waist and leaning to his back.

“I was worried when you weren’t in bed,” Magnus murmured, his voice muffled by the back of Alec’s neck.

“I’m sorry,” Alec said, placing one of his hands on top of Magnus’ that was resting over his stomach while he continued to cook with the other. “I thought it was best to let you sleep, you looked exhausted last night. This morning? Whatever.”

“Are you mocking my appearance Alexander?” Magnus asked, his voice light and teasing.

“Never.”

“Hmm,” Magnus hummed. “How did you sleep?”

“Like a rock,” Alec said.

“I’m not surprised,” Magnus said. “What does surprise me though is that you’re already awake. I was sure I’d wake up before you.”

Magnus could sense the hesitation even before Alec spoke, his body tensing slightly before he continued cooking.

“Yeah, well, I had a dream and it woke me up,” Alec said, his tone aiming for light and conversational but Magnus knew his boyfriend and could read the tone as it really was. Magnus tensed too, watching Alec lift a crepe to the plate on the counter before he turned his boyfriend around so that they were facing each other. This wasn’t a conversation Magnus wanted to have staring at Alec’s back.

“About what happened yesterday?” Magnus asked carefully, his arms now looped behind Alec’s neck.

Alec looked down but nodded, his hands instinctively coming up to hold Magnus’ waist.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Magnus asked. He knew that Alec needed to talk about it eventually, but Magnus would give Alec time if he needed that. He didn’t want to rush him.

Alec was quiet for a long while, and Magnus was just about to change the subject before Alec spoke.

“I was in the hallway.” His eyes were still staring at the space between them, the tone of his voice and the look in his eyes distant. “I couldn’t get out. There were too many of them and I wasn’t a good enough fighter. No one came to help me.”

The words were hard to hear and made Magnus want to erase the memories from Alec’s mind, or go back in time to stop it from happening altogether. But since that wasn’t an option, he was going to do the only thing he could - be there for Alec now.

“Hey, look at me,” Magnus said, sliding his hands so that they were on the sides of Alec’s neck, his thumbs brushing his jaw gently, urging him to lift his head so they could look each other in the eyes again. “You’re safe.”

Alec took in a deep breath and closed his eyes tightly for a moment before opening them again, “I know.”

“You are an amazing fighter and you did so well in there. What happened was awful, and something I wish you wouldn’t have had to go through,” Magnus continued. “And it’s only normal for it to haunt you. It’s okay to feel these things, and I want you to know that I’m here for you, whenever you want to talk about it. That includes waking me up if you have a nightmare. I don’t mind. I want to help.”

“I know,” Alec said, and Magnus believed him. “Thank you. For being you, and for helping me yesterday.”

“You don’t need to thank me,” Magnus replied instantly.

“But I want to,” Alec said, leaning forward and pressing his lips softly to Magnus’, effectively quieting any further arguments from the warlock. Well, it was not like Magnus minded.    

“I made us food,” Alec said, turning around to look at the counter again. The bowl of batter on the counter was empty, next to it a high pile of delicious looking crepes. “Could you make us coffee?”

“Of course,” Magnus said, walking to the coffeemaker and taking out their mugs.

It was almost like a normal morning.

Once everything was done, they brought it all to the dining table and started eating. It was uncharacteristically quiet, but not necessarily uncomfortable. Magnus supposed they both had a lot on their minds.

“So what do you want to do today?” Magnus asked after a while. “And may I remind you that you’re supposed to be resting. So nothing work-related or taxing.”

“I don’t know,” Alec said looking at his plate. He lifted his eyes to Magnus as he continued. “Do you need to leave the apartment today? Do you have any meetings?”

There was something in Alec’s eyes that would have made Magnus cancel all his appointments for the day if he would have had any. There was a layer of vulnerability in there that was rare in the eyes of the Shadowhunter but not something Magnus hadn’t seen before. Alec wouldn’t always say it, afraid to be in the way of Magnus’ work, but sometimes - after a long week, a badly gone Clave meeting, or a phone call with his father - he needed Magnus to stay.

So of course Magnus was going to stay.

“I’m all yours for the day, darling.” Magnus said and he knew he didn’t imagine the relief on Alec’s face. “For the next few days, actually.”

“You don’t have anywhere you need to be?” Alec asked, looking suspicious.

“Nothing that can’t be postponed,” Magnus answered simply.

He knew it was a right choice when Alec didn’t even try to argue that Magnus didn’t need to move his meetings and only replied with a small smile.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” Magnus suggested after they had finished eating.

“Yeah,” Alec replied, taking their plates and standing up. “Let me just clean these up real quick.”

“Alexander did you forget that I have magic?” Magnus said, lifting his hand and getting ready to snap his fingers, ready to magic their dishes clean and back to the cupboards.

Alec was quicker though, putting his hand around Magnus’ wrist. “No magic.”

“Why not?” Magnus asked, genuinely curious.

“Because of what you did last night,” Alec replied. “I know you used too much magic. You need the rest too - your magic needs it.”

“I’m fine, it’s just a few plates and mugs,” Magnus said, rolling his eyes at Alec’s overprotectiveness. The eyeroll was balanced with a fond smile.

“If I’m supposed to be resting, so are you,” Alec said with a tone that said that the conversation was over. He let go of Magnus' wrist and started walking to the kitchen, and Magnus had no choice but to follow him with the rest of their dirty dishes.

“Fine,” Magnus agreed. “But that means you’re not washing them either.”

“Fine, we’re going to leave them in the sink and deal with them later,” Alec said, equally stubborn.

Magnus couldn’t help but smile.

After placing their dishes to the sink, they closed the curtains and settled on the couch, picking a movie to watch. They were sitting on the opposite ends of the couch, both settled on their corners, but it didn’t take long before Magnus spoke.

“What are you doing all the way in there?” He asked, moving his legs and opening his arms in a clear invite, an invite that Alec accepted gladly.

Alec moved so that his upper body was resting against Magnus, his long legs stretched on the couch between Magnus’. Magnus’ arms found their way around Alec’s stomach, the fingers of Alec’s left hand interlacing with Magnus’ right.

It was what they both needed, and it didn’t take long before Magnus could feel Alec relaxing further, his eyes struggling to stay open. As discreetly as he could, Magnus waved his hand and a soft blanket fell on top of them.

“No magic,” Alec mumbled, but his voice held little force as his eyes had now fallen completely shut.

“Shh, go to sleep,” Magnus said, bending down to leave a kiss on top of Alec’s head. He got no response, but he could hear Alec’s breaths evening out. He had fallen into a peaceful sleep.

Magnus turned his attention back to the movie, content to just hold Alec. He knew his boyfriend was still tired from yesterday, and he was hoping that the same safe, relieved feeling Magnus was feeling as he felt Alec’s body there against his own would transpire to Alec’s rest.  

If nothing else, Magnus was going to make sure that if the nightmares were to come, Alec would know that he wasn’t alone.     

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are getting close to the ending! How did you like this fluffier chapter? :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter!! I'm torn between "oh no it's finished" and "woooooooo I finished it" :D

Going back to the Institute felt odd.

Alec had taken two days off, per Magnus’ and his siblings’ insistence. He hadn’t even tried to fight them on it because deep down he knew that the rest did him good. On top of that it no doubt eased the others’ minds as well.

However, he didn’t remember when had been the last time he’d been away from the Institute for this long. The bustle and hustle of the ops center was worlds apart from the peaceful bubble he had been in at the loft where it had been just him and Magnus, and countless hours spent on the couch.

It didn’t help that the reason Alec had been away was because he was recovering from a fight that nearly led to his death.

He wondered what the other Shadowhunters thought about that. Their leader had been injured in a battle, had managed to lose his weapons and miscalculate the risks, sending his partner back to the Institute before deeming the situation completely clear.

But still, if given the chance, Alec wouldn’t change a thing. Well, maybe he’d hold onto his stele and his weapons a bit tighter, but he wouldn’t take back his decision to send Jace back. Who knows what could have happened to the mundane if Jace wouldn’t have taken him to the safety. Alec stood behind his choices.

The situation was cleared now, the Shadowhunter behind the turnings dead and the further investigations had showed that she was working alone. The mundane was safe, Jace was safe, and Alec himself was safe. It had been a close call, but there was no point on dwelling on it anymore. What happened, happened, and all he could do was do better next time.

But despite the psyching he had given himself, feeling all the eyes on him wherever he went still made Alec feel self-conscious.

Alec was just about finished with his tasks for the day, more than eager to go back home and see Magnus. They had been texting throughout the day, Magnus concerned about how Alec was holding and Alec assuring him that he was fine. He might have told Magnus several times that he didn’t need to worry, but deep down Alec couldn’t help but appreciate the concern his boyfriend had for him. He knew it came from the heart.

Alec knew that while he had been the one trapped and injured, the situation had left a mark on Magnus too. Alec couldn’t even imagine how he would have felt if the situation were reversed.

Alec had caught Magnus on his phone two days ago, and it had taken a while before he’d realised that Magnus was listening to that voicemail again. Alec had made him delete it immediately, because while the majority of the message was positive, in a way that it was something Alec wanted Magnus to be able to hear whenever he wanted, the context gave its own kind of heavy weight to it. He’d rather repeat those words to Magnus in person, now that he knew he was able to do it.

Shaking those thoughts from his head, Alec walked towards the weapon room, carrying a folder he wanted Izzy to take a look at. It was about a weapon they had found from the Central Park, obviously from the Shadow World but unlike anything they had seen before. He hoped Izzy would either know something or would be able to find out through her contacts.

He just needed to do this and then he could go home.

He couldn't wait.

As he was nearing the room, Alec saw two kids standing in the corridor, whispering to each other and looking at his way every now and then. It was obvious that he was the topic of their gossip.

He stopped when he reached them, trying to look as friendly as possible because the kids obviously knew that they had been caught - if their wide eyes were any clue.

“Hey,” Alec greeted casually. “What are you talking about?”

“Mr. Lightwood,” the girl said with a small voice, the boy hiding behind her a bit. Looking at them closer Alec realised that they might be siblings, the girl most likely the older one of the two. “Is it true what they say?”

“It depends. What have you heard?” Alec asked curiously, crouching down to be less intimidating.

“That you killed a bunch of monsters with just your arrows,” the girl clarified, a hint of awe in her eyes, the look mirrored in her little brother's eyes.

“It is,” Alec told them, nodding. But he knew he couldn’t take all the credit. “But I also had help from my friends.”

“Was it scary?” The little boy asked curiously, still hiding behind his sister.

“Yeah,” Alec answered, because it had been.

He could have given the impression that he had been fearless - it was what he had been taught from the young age. To never show weakness. But as he’s grown up, he’s learnt that it is important to know that it’s okay to show what you are really feeling and it is okay to be afraid. He’s learnt that you can survive even if you aren’t as fearless as the heroes in ancient myths.

“It was really scary at some points,” he told them honestly.

“But how did you do it?” The girl asked, obviously curious. “There was just one you and so many of them. I wouldn’t have been able to do that.”

“Maybe not now,” Alec told the girl, smiling a little at her eagerness. “But I wouldn’t have been able to do it at your age either. You have to practice and grow up.”

The kids nodded, looking serious until a voice called their name and they all saw a woman standing a bit away from them.

“Bye mister Lightwood,” the girl said, the boy waving at Alec before they ran to their mother.

“Bye,” Alec called after them, standing up again.

He watched as they disappeared behind a corner and then continued what he came to do, walking through the open door to the weapon room where he found his sister standing behind a desk, looking at something on the computer screen.

“Hey Izzy,” Alec greeted, and Isabelle lifted her head and smiled at him brightly.

“Hey Alec,” she replied, walking around the table to give him a quick hug. “I thought I heard your voice. How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine Izzy,” Alec said, pulling away from the hug. He decided to mention the conversation he just had, because for some reason he couldn’t just put it in the past yet. “I met two kids in the corridor, they seemed to be impressed with what I did in the building.”

“And they are not the only ones,” Isabelle said, a wide smile on her face. “As awful as it all was, it really did wonders to your reputation.”  

“What?” Alec asked, thoroughly confused. He sure hadn’t felt so when everyone had been staring at him throughout the day.

“Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed it,” Isabelle said, her words coupled with an eyeroll. “People are impressed. The word has gotten around about how you defeated a full army of Foresakens on your own and with limited weapons.”

“I thought they were judging me,” Alec said honestly, his eyebrows furrowed. “For losing my weapons and getting myself into that mess.”

“Oh Alec,” Isabelle said, a fond smile on her face. “Could you stop thinking so little of yourself?”

It was Alec’s turn to roll his eyes, and while he changed the subject by showing Izzy the folder he’d been carrying and turning the conversation back to work, his sister’s words didn’t leave his mind.

People were not disappointed, they were impressed. While Alec still didn’t like the extra attention he got, he had to admit that this new knowledge made it a lot more bearable.

 

* * *

 

“Hey,” Magnus said, kissing Alec’s cheek. “How was your day?”

“Considering we were texting barely two hours ago, not much new has happened between then and now,” Alec said teasingly, hanging his jacket up before turning back to Magnus as he remembered something. “Actually. Something did happen.”

Magnus lifted his eyebrows in curiosity, leading Alec furter into the apartment.

“I told you about all those looks I got during the day?” Alec reminded Magnus, and Magnus nodded. “Turns out they weren’t judging me. They were all impressed by what I did.”

“Why am I not surprised,” Magnus mused, taking Alec’s hand and gently pulling him forward. He placed a soft kiss to Alec’s lips before he continued. “They should be impressed, and you shouldn’t always assume the worst.”

“You’re just like Izzy,” Alec complained, a smile on his face.

Magnus shook his head, a smile on his face as he stepped away, keeping his hand on Alec’s as he started walking again. “Come on, follow me.”

“Where are you taking me?”

“There’s something I want to show you,” Magnus replied.

Alec followed Magnus to his apothecary, the room in the loft that looked the most like Magnus, if Alec had to choose one. Alec loved to spend time in the room, the organized clutter and the wide variety of odd ingredients and old books such an interesting setting. The best part was to see Magnus work, see the focus and the flourish his boyfriend had when he worked. When Magnus led him to the big table in the middle of the room, Alec realised that he was going to show him something he’d been working on.

“I want to give you this,” Magnus said, lifting the small silvery object from the table.

“A ring?” Alec asked, his heart skipping a beat and his eyes widening a little.

Magnus must have noticed because his own eyes widened and he continued quickly.

“It’s not that kind of ring,” he said hastily. “While I love you deeply and would love to offer you whatever version of forever we have on the table for us, this is not that ring. I hope to one day give you that, but that day isn’t today. This ring, however, does hold a more heavier meaning than a simple accessory does.”

Alec listened carefully, trying no to smile too much at Magnus’ words about their future. He lifted his eyes from the ring to Magnus’ eyes, before looking at the ring again. It did look like a normal ring. It was made of silver, a simple band with no decorations. Different to what Magnus usually wore, but something Alec saw more fitting to himself. Magnus must have thought so too.

“Never again do I want you to feel like you’re alone,” Magnus said, his voice heavy and expression somber. He took Alec’s right hand and Alec gave it willingly, watching as Magnus slipped the ring onto his ring finger. “Even when you have no way to contact me, you’ll have this.”

Magnus interlaced their fingers and Alec could see an identical ring on Magnus’ finger as well. “How does it work?”

“Twist it around three times, and I’ll be there,” Magnus explained, his tone serious. “If you can’t get a hold of me by calling, or with a fire message, or simply if there’s no time for those, you can use this ring.”

“Does it work both ways?” Alec asked, because there might be a day when Magnus would need his help as well. “Can you get in contact with me too?”

Magnus smiled, seemingly touched by Alec’s first reaction. He pulled their hands apart to twist his own ring three times and the sudden heat Alec felt on his finger startled him. He looked down to see the ring glowing faint orange - the heat was noticeable, but not intense enough to burn.

“This way we’ll know that the other one is in danger,” Magnus explained. “And since there’s a bond between the rings, I can track you through it, and it should work for Shadowhunter tracking as well.”

Alec stepped closer, bringing his arms tightly around Magnus and murmuring his words into his neck. “Thank you, that’s such a good idea.”

Magnus just hummed in response, returning the embrace just as tightly. “I really needed to find a solution. What happened the other day - it can never happen again.”

It had clearly left a mark on them both, but maybe with this they could both start to properly move on. Now they knew that if worse came to worst, they would be able to count on each other. The rings might not have been wedding rings, but by no means were they any less. What would be a better mark of a true love than a promise to always be there if the other needed you, to want to know that the other was safe?

As much as the ring was an invention born from fear, it was also born from care and need to protect. It was also something Alec hoped that neither of them would ever need to use.

There in Magnus’ apothecary, holding his boyfriend tightly, Alec felt the last of the tension fall from his body. With this, Alec truly believed that they would both be able to heal from what had happened.

And besides, they both knew that they weren’t doing it alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First things first, a huge thank you to everyone who has read this story! All the kudos emails and comments have truly made my day every time. You've made writing my first multichapter fic a really nice experience! I've written fics for almost five years, and I've had several multichapter fics planned - some have even had a chapter or two written - but I've never gotten further than that. I was almost starting to give up hope that I would ever have the attention span to actually finish one. But now I have!!
> 
> I've already started writing another multichapter fic that is actually inspired by an anon message I got on tumblr (the anon mentioned that they are from here, so hi, i am writing your fic, i just accidentally ran with it). To avoid it becoming a source of stress I want to have it mostly written before I start to post it, so I make no promises when that will be. [I posted a little excerpt on tumblr a couple weeks ago if anyone is interested! :)](https://sugarandspace.tumblr.com/post/184186496725/ever-since-magnus-learned-that-alec-runs-a-bit)
> 
> Okay I'm going to stop now, you came here to read the fic and not a novel-length a/n. I hope you enjoyed this! :)
> 
> \- Jenna

**Author's Note:**

> [You can find me from tumblr too!](https://www.sugarandspace.tumblr.com)


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